Wow it really has been a while!! Lets do a quick catch up. The holidays were awesome. E was a pirate for Halloween, loved all the food at Thanksgiving and got way too many gifts at Christmas!! He makes the holidays so worth it! Everything is just better with him. I am currently waiting for my awesome hubby to get home so we can go to eat dinner before he goes to watch a UFC fight tonight. Yay I get cuddle time with my little man alone and he gets time with the guys. Two very needed things. So as I was saying I am currently here waiting having lets just say "some" wine and blogging away.

Something happened recently that has made me all too aware of how completely out of control we are of our own lives. How things will happen in Gods time and His way no matter what we want, need or do. We dont always know the reason behind them but there is one. I do believe that. I have to believe that. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger right? Makes us more aware of the things around us and how easily everything is taken for granted and can so quickly be taken away. I do not feel as if I have been punished for some misdeed I have done in my life. I dont think things work out like that. (Although we wont tell Evan that because when I ask him to come here and he runs and falls down I tell him the floor made him fall because he wasnt listening. LOL!) Had one small thing changed for those before me, my world could be so incredibly different or in fact nonexistent. So I do believe there are reasons for the choices we're given and the consequences and actions that follow the choice we chose. Life doesnt end because we have a bad day or something bad happens to us. It keeps on going and so do we. On to the next adventure in life waiting for us. Something better or just different than the path we were just on. That has changed because it needed to. No there arent always explanations behind why things happen and we may never know the reasons during this lifetime but its not something for us to figure out. No matter how hard or horrible it is, we have to go on. There are others in our lives that need us and depend on us. Dwelling on things wont change them or make them easier. But remembering them and reminding ourselves to be thankful for them does.

Sunday will be the 1yr anniversary of the death of my niece. She wasnt even 5months old and yet she was taken from her family and this earth by causes still unknown. There is nothing right or easy about that. My sister has had to go on every day since then knowing what has happened. But I can tell you that its made her so much more concentrated on her life right now. Not the past not the future right now. Lailas death doesnt get better, but it does get easier. When a band aide is ripped off the skin it hurts immediately but as time passes the pain eases and just the red mark is left. The scar from the wound under neath my never go away and will always be a reminder of what happened but the pain from it and the band aide will ease. My sister is definitely a hero to most and that includes me.