Same As Before

Please be kind as this is being done on my phone.

"It is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard." -Martin Luther King Jr 

Powerful words written nearly 60 years ago that still ring true today. 

As I watch and learn of the riots in Baltimore my heart breaks. People who have no way to be fully heard, and fully understood than acts of violence and chaos. While people hundreds of miles away condemn them and speak words of hatred. People who have never felt the pain and anguish as these have. People who have never felt the helplessness and fear these have. People who have never felt the injustice as these have. Yet these people feel they can decide who and what she be done. The correct way they should have acted and should have said. I could not imagine the pain of feeling your words and life mean less than others because of how you look, could not imagine the fear of knowing that no matter how hard you try and how loud you speak your voice is still quieter than the white man next to you. I could not imagine the struggle of having to do twice as good as others just to be counted as half. The riots aren't because they don't want to listen to authority. It is because authority is not listening to them. The death of a man should not be ignored. Justice should be served even if it is to those supposed to uphold the law. 

There are no excuses, no if onlys, no amount of I'm sorrys that can help this situation. Justice and change. But how can that be done when the need for change comes from people who are ignored. Why bother with something as hard as change when you can push it aside. Ignore those so desperate for it unail you can no longer ignore it. Then let's blame them for the mess. Wrong. No one but ourselves to blame. No one but those who swept these people under the rug for so long to blame. We like to live in this special bubble we have built around ourselves so we don't see the ugly. It doesn't exist if we can't see it. We can't control what others do if we don't see them. Wrong. Speaking up for those who can't or those who are ignored. Open our eyes to see the ugly and try to change it. People are opressed, and people are suffering right here in our backyards, in our schools, not half way around the world. Right here. 

So before you say something about the desperate actions of others look around, what have you done to try to help, or spoken up or even taken the time to understand the real issues behind their actions. What would you do if you were them? 

Turning the Page

It's been a long week. This week has been a week of wonderful highs. I celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary on Sat. It's been a wonderful weekend. A great dinner with just A and myself, then came home to E and O, ready for bed and worn out by their cousins. I didnt have to worry about them while gone and they were super happy for the time to play. I got to love on my kids and my husband and not have to worry about other things. I got to play on the trampoline and enjoy the nice early spring air. I got to hide under the blankets while being ambushed with Nerf bullets form A and E. It's been a great weekend. I also did a ton of reflecting over the weekend. I realized that where I am currently in my life, with my family and my friends is a great place to be. I am so happy and content with where we are going and the things we are working towards. There will always be bumps in the road but with these wonderful guys by my side they can help make sure these bumps dont become car consuming pot holes. 

It became clear what amazing friends I have in my life. Many more than I realized. People who stand up for me when needed. People who make me laugh and are there for me to confide in. People who allow me to be me and love me just for that. These women also help keep me from falling into the pot holes of life. They allow me to vent, and they listen. They give me amazing distractions and make me laugh when I need to. They help me in more ways than they will ever know. I am so blessed and grateful for these women. 

There have also been some super low lows this week. I've realized how strong my close group of friends are and I've realized how weak I can be. I've realized that while I feel I can trust others I cannot. I've realized that many times 'friends' are nothing more than a screen, an avatar, a small thumbnail picture. Not what I thought they were, not who I thought they were, and not how things seem. Screens give others more courage than alcohol, more words than a dictionary and more power than they need. They can wonderfully build people up and just a quick shut them down. I am so thankful I am surrounding myself with more that build up and less of those that shut down. More of those that help guide me on the right path and less of those that make me stray. I am learning what I am built of and what others are built of. Not something you'd think one would be doing while rounding the corner on their mid-thirties. I know who I am and what I stand for, but learning who others are and what they stand for is different. Not everyone is made of the same fiber and that's fine. Everyone needs to learn these things. I have been lucky enough to live in a bubble. One that doesn't have a need to be skeptical of others, one that I can trust and take things for what they seem. I dont have to wonder if what I see and hear is the truth. 

I can say that I am a very lucky woman. I have so much to be thankful for and I cannot thank God enough for blessing me with this.